The Monthly Stress

he beginning of each month causes me stress because of bills.   Like hundreds of Americans we are in debt.  Dan was out of work for two years, during that time  I was the sole provider. He stayed home with our son and looked for work and at times was able to do get odd jobs.

I worry we won't have enough to pay all the bills.  My medical bills are piling up.  I have four different payment plans at the moment.  I have had three hospital stays in 2 years, my treatment for my spams and pain management are expensive.  Now I have physical therapy for 13 weeks two times a week.  That means I need an extra $650 to be able to pay the $25 co pay each visit.

My faith is constantly tested I often wonder why God has chosen me.  My mother in law LaVerne used to always say "Let Go and Let God"   she lived by this statement to the day of her death.

Somethings I'm trying to do differently:

I try to say my rosary on my commute to work.
Say three things I'm thankful for
Write about something each day to improve my writing skills (I always wanted to be writer)
Pray two prayers a day

I wonder what God has planned for me in the future everyday.  We all make plans but as we know God has his own plan for us.

I hoped that I would be a mom in my 30s when my body was healthly. (I married at 32). That wasn't God's plan I had my son at 41, Dan was out of work and my health was so so.

We can map out our lives and plan every detail but we must also be ready to have our plans disrupted. I always say the constant in life is death and taxes.

My journey of faith and inner peace continues.


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